mwafrika.com - Improper Pride

Improper Pride - John Kigada

You may have a friend who is well- groomed as she takes good care of herself. She is resourceful and effective in formulating, executing and carrying out plans. But she lacks the ability to inspire others and maintain their confidence. She is rigid, argumentative, highly opinionated and close minded!

A lady who has a disposition that seeks honor, exaltation, praise or notoriety, will end up seeking greatness rather than the good of others. She begins showing improper pride in herself and little concern or consideration for others. This causes friction, hence the inability to work with those of different personalities or temperaments. Eventually, her inability to respond to the feelings and needs of others makes her to prefer to work alone.

A lady who is self-reliant may not display a disposition of self-assertion when in social contact with perceived female “competitors” because of her feeling of confidence. She will not seek to establish dominance in social gatherings by wearing a lot of jewelry, too much make- up or expensive stylish clothes that give an air of superiority. Her self- confidence is a consequence of her reputation, based on her achievement, money or honor.

Ladies who are financially independent and pay too much respect to social position or wealth have a rough time finding husbands. Astute men take note of acts or utterances that show contemptuous indifference, when such ladies mercilessly despise persons who are of lower social rank. Women who keep themselves away from outcasts and the despised in their community cultivate a lofty disposition of themselves. Eventually, their hands- off policy appeals to other snobs and incapacitates the sympathy of the snubbed (who feel no pity and express no tenderness because of their disapproval).

Ladies who put themselves forward in an effort to be noticed by everyone and resist being in the background for fear of not getting attention, often engage in household service in a bid to boost their reputation. Ladies who are not financially independent may often submit to a man and affirm his patriarchal authority because they want to appear patient in mind and character. Unlike financially independent ladies, they incline towards traditional roles of the husband and wife.

If someone tells you they find something repulsive in your disposition and you proudly proclaim “that is just the way I am,” you are affirming that you will continue to treat people badly. This is not beneficial to you or anyone else! Admit that you are wrong. Determine in your mind to change for the better. Allow the Holy Spirit to transform your heart and emotions. Do not retaliate or make threats when persecuted or hurt by others. Commit yourself to humble service as opposed to public attention. Make efforts to uphold a demeanor of modesty. Learn to submit to an Evangelical spiritual guide or head.

Express mercy and kindness - hold yourself back from causing suffering or punishing somebody whom you have the right or power to. Show love for others by not exposing them to unkind, rough or cruel treatment. Express thoughtfulness and sympathy- considerately think about the needs of others. Exercise thoughtful attention to the feelings and wishes of others in view of the circumstances they are in.

Become aware of others- avoid being self- absorbed by letting your attention or time in public be taken up by interest in others. Valuing others creates an attraction from them, and endless reasons to live. Become self- controlled- avoid being unable to manage or contain your feelings by exercising restraint. Regulate your attitudes by causing yourself to be under the authority of a credible spiritual leader and read the Bible devotionally.

About The Author John Kigada joins Mwafrika.com as a freelance writer and columnist. He is a youth minister and graduate of the East Africa School of Theology.

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