However, there was no contentment in this particular silence. There was nothing “reflective” or “progressive” about this silence. I had allowed myself to get stuck in a sulky, pitiable rut where I was perpetually a victimized puppet (never mind whose). However, I have learnt my lesson. Please indulge me…

Full employment is trying hard to convince me that it is not ready for me. So in the meantime, I work part time as a researcher. My job includes piecing and compiling the historical background of a given organization. This can be a daunting task because first, nobody is quite sure of the dates, secondly, nobody remembers everything fully because nothing was ever documented, thus my expertise. Thirdly, if you are not working for the Steadman research group or Infotrak then you might as well be a fly on the wall because everyone is “ too busy” for you, never mind  they are staff of the organization under research.

Anyway, in one of the many stories that I was piecing, I came across a classic autobiographical best seller waiting to be published. And better yet, it had Jesus tell-tale signs smeared all over it. Long before I’d finished reading the story, I knew it was just one worth telling.I liked the fact that it had divine planning smeared all over it. In as much as I could always go back to the Bible and refer to Joseph, Hosea and my personal favourite, Jonah (the nerve of this guy!), like I said, I was stuck in a rut…not even Jesus could get to me!

However, this writer made it look like Jesus was just dying to pile and smother him with blessings and solutions and results and what nots!  Make no mistake, this was a man who had also lived a hard life but had somehow escaped being hardened!

As I sat there reading this man’s profile (correction, best selling autobiography), I was awe struck, emotional, lifted and inspired! (Yes, it was better than watching  Titanic repeatedly, better than butterscotch ice-cream on a dull day or ooh!, picking up money on some dusty road on your way home when Lord knows you have shamelessly and ruthlessly budgeted for that last 200 bob in your ‘Luwi Vuton’).

By agreeing to share his life with me, without winging, playing victim or arrogance, this man had awakened me out of my self centered, sulking, poor me reverie! I had all the things he never had and I still complained about how I had been cheated by life. He did not have any of the things I had yet he had learnt the power of humble contentment.

As I read about his life I noticed consistency. Excellence: his achievements were a far cry from paltry clumsy attempts. Passion: he consistently used words like my love, my wife. He still made time to indulge in all that he loved (and he loves a lot of things!). He surrounded himself with people of like mind…he identified mentors early on in every aspect of his life. He was loyal, integral.

Many are the times his judgment was called into question and he stood by them even when they cost him luxuries like money and prestige. He is a giver: he gives back to God and back to humanity.  He did not have much to his name but whatever he had, in cash or kind, he always gave back. As for me, God knows how many times he has had to breathe down my neck for me to tithe. It’s supposed to get easier with time…one would think.

So maybe Paul was on to something when he said, “I have learnt to be content whatever the circumstances.” Life may not always be fair but get over it and yourself. Apply some consistency on the positive things and maybe…just maybe, I will learn to have the right kind of silence.

About The Author: Akello Ogola believes the transmitter is one of life’s greatest inventions – never mind why! She describes herself as fun-loving, energized and prone to driving other people crazy.

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